In April 2023, I left my job in Singapore and moved to Malaysia to join my dad’s company as an HR personnel. At that time, I was in a three-year relationship with my Singaporean boyfriend. We cared about each other, but our relationship had been struggling, especially when it came to marriage matters and our future together. That was when I met someone at work. He was the Group General Manager, older than me, confident, intelligent, and easy to talk to. He was previously based in Perth and now in Malaysia working due to family reasons. For the first time in a long while, I felt understood. We could talk for hours about anything and everything. I remember thinking to myself, “If only he were my boyfriend.” Then I found out he was married with a child. We both knew where the boundaries were supposed to be. Yet somehow, we became part of each other’s daily lives. Every morning, he would text me. We shared our thoughts, our frustrations, and the little details of our days. He even bought me flowers despite being allergic to them. Things became complicated when his wife discovered my existence. She texted me and said she is ok with separating her husband as she never had loved him. The only reason why they got together was because she wanted a kid. My father found out about our situation and fired him from the company. Not long after, I resigned and returned to Singapore. We stopped talking. But I couldn’t let go. I tried reaching out. I even flew to Perth hoping to find him. For seven months, there was only silence. Then one day, he texted back. After that, he would appear and disappear from my life without warning. In November 2025, he reached out to me again and asked if I was single. By then, I was already married. My husband is a genuinely good man. He loves me, supports me, and has given me everything I could ask for in a partner. Yet there are moments when I feel guilty because a part of my heart still remembers someone else. The hardest truth I’ve had to accept is that love is not always about who we end up with. Sometimes the people who leave the deepest mark on our lives are the ones we never truly had. I don’t know whether what I felt was love, timing, obsession, unfinished business, or simply the longing for someone who made me feel seen. What I do know is that some stories never really end. We just learn how to live with them.

Hello Admin, could you please help me post this? I would really like to hear answers directly from Singaporean Malay men. Here’s the situation: I’ve met many Malay men through dating apps. I’ve been intimate with almost all of them. But why is it always like this? I’ve done everything I could, and sometimes I even spent my own money on them. Even when I already noticed red flags, I still kept using dating apps and meeting people. But in the end, they all ghost me, Admin. After the first meeting and after we’ve slept together, that’s it. No more messages, no more communication. I just want to ask: Is it because I’m only a domestic helper here in Singapore that no one wants to take me seriously?Does my breath,body and armpit stinks? Are you only looking for temporary fun and nothing more?

We are a young family with an infant of 5 months old, doing our part as Singaporeans to raise the TFR rate. Years back, we opt for a BTO project with a completion year of 2029 (Miltonia Breeze). We tried 8 times before successfully getting a BTO and decided to take anything available at that time as we were desperate to have a place of our own after COVID. At that point of time, I was not pregnant, and living in a small 2 room flat with my mother. We thought that after COVID, the construction completed date might be brought forward. That did not happen. We are now currently living in a 5rm flat (owned by a family member). However, the family member have to take back the flat after retrenchment and will need to use it for rental income. We tried appealing to HDB to let us forfeit our BTO so we can buy resale, but we got rejected. They did not want to waive off the 1 year waiting period and 5% forfeiture fees. Imposing for such harsh penalities is to ensure homebuyers do not give up their flats easily... however why are sincere Singaporeans like us who really need a home ASAP not be allowed a waiver? We even sought MP help for this, but the HDB appeal was still rejected in the end. Holding my infant baby and worry about not having shelter in a few months, I am at a loss of what to do. Please post my story, because at this moment, I feel that the government is not extending support to helpless parents trying to build a family, and I have no other way out to plead for help other than trying to see an MP again and plead my case publicly. Please give us any advice.

Kay, a 40 year old woman with 2 children is having a relationship with a 60 year old man, widowed. It started when they were chatting over social media platforms. They shared many same interests and thoughts which led to personal issues. Kay, who is lonely and feels neglected by her husband since her second born daughter (3 years ago). They didn’t communicate only on issues involving the family or home. She tried many times to talk to him but was brushed off with excuses of him being “tired”. She tried so many ways and to the extend of looking pretty and sexy.. Nonetheless, she realised that her marriage is based on her children and husband is for the “provider”. Intimacy between them has long gone no matter how hard she tried and to the extend of leaving him, but he refused stating that he “loved” her and his children. There is no signs of him having any affairs or medical issues.. things just stayed that way. Kay, who is in corporate position feels “empty”. Life is just juggling between work, children and home. Her husband is just a co-sharing person in the household. Back to the man that she communicates in social media, they exchanged numbers and started to communicate via WhatsApp. She feels safe whenever they talk and knowing that he is 20 years older with experienced in relationships and he, too is lonely since his wife’s death 6 years ago. Time after time, they met and had intimate relationships that led to sexual contact. It was an experience that she thought was amazing and she had the ability to fulfil her needs. At the same time, feeling guilty whenever she is back home. The same guilt was expressed by the man as he felt as a “home wrecker “ and isn’t right for him to lead her in the first place. Both are guilty. Time passes by, Kay has stopped seeing that man as he finally managed to find a partner, a wife. Kay? She is now as she is. “ happy” with her children and her “dead” husband.

Dear Ex (MT), For five years, you’ve wanted closure. To you, I disappeared without warning. One day I was there, and the next, I was gone. To me, it wasn’t sudden at all. It was twelve years of disappointment that slowly piled up until I could no longer carry it. We were together from JC to university, and then through the years of working abroad. Twelve years. Everyone thought we would get married. Honestly, so did I. Year after year, I asked you the same question. “When are we getting married?” And year after year, your answer was always another version of “not yet.” “Next year.” “Let’s wait until we’re financially stable.” “Let’s wait until I reach 1.5 million.” There was always another milestone. Another target. Another reason to postpone the life we were supposedly building together. I knew how important that financial goal was to you. I remember you once telling me that if I ever got pregnant before then, we should abort the baby. I never forgot those words. On my 29th birthday, I made a promise to myself. One last chance. The year before, you had hinted about proposing. I held onto that hope. I thought maybe this would finally be the year. But it wasn’t. And later that same year, I found out I was pregnant. I remember sitting there in complete shock. Devastated. Confused. Heartbroken. I sent you a message and asked, “When would you be ready to have a child?” You replied, “It’s too early for us.” That answer told me everything I needed to know. The very same day, I made an appointment for an abortion. The clinic required a counselling session beforehand. I still remember sitting there crying uncontrollably, feeling completely alone. The counsellor encouraged me to talk to you. But I couldn’t. I was living abroad with no family around me. I was already carrying more pain than I could handle. And deep down, I didn’t want to hear the word “abortion” come from your mouth. I couldn’t survive hearing you choose financial goals over our child. So I kept it from you. Maybe that was unfair. But it was the only way I could protect the tiny piece of my heart that still wanted to believe you loved me. I told myself it wasn’t that you didn’t love me. Maybe it was just bad timing. Maybe one day things would be different. After the abortion, I returned to my apartment in the UK. Physically, I recovered. Emotionally, I never did. The guilt was unbearable. The grief followed me everywhere. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t look at myself without wondering about the life that could have been. I wasn’t ready to see you. So I made excuses. I said I wasn’t feeling well. I said I was busy with work. I said I was travelling. But the truth was that something inside me had broken. I knew I couldn’t continue. I resigned from my job, used my remaining annual leave, took mental health leave, and started planning my exit from the country as quickly as possible. Before leaving, I wrestled with one question every single day. Should I tell you? Should I meet you one last time and tell you everything? Or should I disappear? Part of me desperately wanted you to know. Another part knew that if I saw you again, I would fall apart completely. In my final month in the UK, we still met occasionally. From the outside, everything looked normal. But inside, I was already gone. Every time I looked at you, I thought about our unborn baby. Every smile hurt. And after seeing you, I would go home and cry for hours. For so many years, I had imagined a future with you. I thought you would be my husband. I thought you would be the father of our child. I thought we would be a family. Instead, I was grieving that family alone. When I returned to Singapore, I sent you a breakup message. Then I changed my number. Deleted my social media. Cut every possible connection. I heard you tried reaching out to my family. I simply told them we would never be getting back together. Nobody knew about the baby. Nobody knew the real reason. Nobody knew the weight I had been carrying all these years. Today, you followed my Instagram. And through mutual friends, I heard that you’ve never really moved on. That you’ve been searching for closure. The truth is, the baby was the closure. The baby that I wanted. The younger version of me was angry. She would probably still ask you the same question she asked for years: Did you ever truly want to marry me? But I move on now. I’ve made peace with things I once thought would destroy me. I no longer need answers. And I no longer hate you. I just hope you’re happy. I hope you’ve achieved the financial goals that meant so much to you. I hope you’ve found the life you were waiting for. As for me, I finally stopped waiting.

Honestly ah, I starting to feel people who struggle on dating apps are not necessarily lousy catches in real life one leh. Got quite a lot actually have stable jobs, personality okay, responsible, can talk normally face to face. In real life totally legit people. But once everything move online right, wah somehow all start to go wrong already. The funniest part is, also got people in real life honestly quite messy one. Chaotic, inconsistent, red flag here red flag there. But on dating apps? Wah damn power sia. Match until nonstop. So now I'm starting to feel dating apps reward a very specific patten more than actual long term match. Things like profile presentation, texting pattern, timing, pacing, “vibes”, knowing what to say at the correct moment… all these become super important. Not complaining. It is what it is. Apps and real life really feel like two different worlds sometimes. Sigh Anybody else notice this before or am I becoming a coffeeshop philosopher already lol.