Recent posts

#11608: How do you afford relationships in Singapore?
#11608advice· 342d ago

How do you afford relationships in Singapore So I’m from America and recently moved to Singapore. I’m 29 and earn a “okay” salary (it’s a local non-expat contract for the big 4 so can work it out from that) although it’s tough with the current rental market and definitely not rich. I moved here single and so been trying to date. I don’t really have a preference in terms of people I date as long as we get on. I’ve had a few long term relationships back in the USA for which the most part were great, but unfortunately they didn’t work out. So I started dating this girl a few months back. She’s from Malaysia but she’s PR here. She’s 25 and earns a reasonable salary for her age I’d say (between 3 and 4K). The first date we went on I suggested some chill drinks and then she replied and asked if we could go to some fancy restaurant which would set me back about $250. Although, the whole night ended up being much more. Dinner was $250, taxis were $50. Then we went for drinks after (2 cocktails) which was $120. So altogether it cost nearly $420. She hadn’t even tried to offer to pay for something. Anyway, fast forward a while and we’re officially together now and she still expects me to pay for everything when I’m with her. Whether that’s to pay for her taxi to my place, dinner dates, trips away and even daily expenses. On top of all this, she also expects me to buy her gifts for her birthday, treat to things. I have no idea where she expects all this money to come from. I seem to have to pay for absolutely everything and she doesn’t even offer to pay. I’ve raised this to her and she said that I’m the man and should pay as she doesn’t earn a lot. I’ve told her that I’m not in a position to pay for everything and she said fair enough, but things still haven’t changed. She’s said that all the guys she’s dated in Singapore, they’ve always paid for everything and I’m the first guy to raise this issue to her. I’m at the end of my tether because I do like hanging with her but I need her to take responsibility and offer to pay for things, unless of course I’ve specifically said I’m taking her out for dinner. We’re going on holiday to Vietnam soon and in the process of booking things. I don’t expect her to pay 50/50 but unsure how to go about splitting the cost with her. Am I being unreasonable here? How do guys in Singapore manage it? It’s literally getting to the point where I cannot afford to have a girlfriend. I don’t feel like I’m being used, since we spend a huge amount of time together and she does seem to genuinely like me, but she seems to have this mindset that guys are ATM cash machines and rich, which I’m far from. Any advice people have?

👍 0❤️ 0😂 0
1
  • luxuriant-nation

    Learn from US?

    328d ago · ·