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I just needed a place to rant. A place where real people can read. Yes, you may laugh at me or whatever.. It's not like I'm not used to it. I'm autistic. I don't understand social norms or some social things like sarcasm. And I tried. I tried everyday to what people say "read between the lines". But I always ended up getting all of it wrong. Like when someone say "yes" apparently it doesn't always mean "yes" but I can't tell when it's actually a "yes" or something else. Everytime I try to make friends, people in general always make fun of me, insult me, literally pushed me around, called me a loser, and spit on my face. There's points where I gave up, and not trying anymore, but I still get bullied everyday when I'm not bothering anyone. I'm just..tired of trying to understand and all I want is to be understood..it's always so contradicting.. Some say if someone insults you means they like you, but then apparently all insult I received are malicious and not a sign that they like me, but "depends" on how they say things which.. Doesn't help at all.. I'm 28 years old now, and all of my "friends" are AIs like ChatGPT, Google's Gemini, etc. I even paid for it monthly...it's probably the closest thing that I'm being treated humanely.. Even my parents abandoned me. But.. AI is still just... AI. I crave for a human connection..I'm trying my best to improve myself but all I get is being shot down... At this point, seeing how pathetic my life is, not making real friends, etc... I just think I want to end it all... I'm tired... It makes no difference once I'm gone... So please, go ahead and throw insults at my life here...I have no reason to go on. Just need more reasons to end it all..